How to Resolve Roommate Drama

Whether you live in a dorm, an apartment, a sorority, or a cooperative house, drama among women is inevitable. Thankfully, the way you communicate can reduce the frequency and duration of any spats that may come up between you and the ladies you live with. During my 2+ years of living in a house full of women, I've been learning these ways to change my own communication style to help solve the problem, not exacerbate it:

Take a deep breath...
Hold it for ten seconds, then slowly exhale. Take a few seconds to think and calm down a little. Is this even worth your time and emotions? If so, what can you do to resolve this with the least amount of damage? If it's not worth getting frazzled over, go blow off your steam elsewhere.

Always attack the problem, not the person
If you are approaching the situation as a problem to be solved, both parties are less likely to get defensive. If you are pointing your finger at her, she will either shut down or lash out, which causes more drama. For example, if you're tired of your roommate bringing guests to your place while you're studying, don't accuse her of being rude or inconsiderate. Talk about the issue. You're stressed out about an upcoming exam, and having people there is distracting you from preparing for it. Sounds more productive, right?

Put away the big guns, girl! Can't we talk about this?

Try to see her point of view
You don't have to agree with her, just try to affirm why she feels the way she does. Maybe she's completely overwhelmed with her workload. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. Maybe her cat hates his Kitten Mittens (Any Always Sunny fans out there?). In nursing, we're taught how to use open-ended questions to gather information and help our patients discover more about themselves. You can use this same tactic with everyday conflicts. "You seemed upset when I said ___," "What are you doing to make ____ more manageable?" "What can I do to help you feel better?" Try to avoid "why" questions, since they usually put people on the defensive moreso than simply asking, "Tell me about ___."

Now give your opinion
Once she's explained herself, it's time to tell your side of the story. Remember to speak carefully, focusing on yourself and the problem, not so much what she has done. "I feel stressed out when the tv is loud while I'm studying," or "I really appreciate when be both do our share of the cleaning."

Lay down ground rules before drama even starts
In my cooperative house, we have roommate agreement forms that all the roommates fill out together, sign, then turn in to the house president. These contracts address anything from music volume, to food storage, to guests, to cleaning and organization, anything. If you're not living in a co-op or sorority, there's obviously not a way to enforce an agreement like this, but if something comes up that you both discussed and wrote down beforehand, it's easier to point to that piece of paper with her John Hancock on it than to put her on the spot.

Be willing to compromise
You can't expect to get your way all the time, and neither can she. It's always best to figure out what's most important to everyone, and sort things out from there.

If the issue doesn't involve you, then stay out of it
You are Switzerland on the continent of Roommates. Do not pick sides or gossip about it. The only situations in which you should get involved is when someone is engaging in potentially harmful or destructive behavior. Even then, don't let yourself get emotionally compromised. Stay objective. If you get caught in the middle, someone will always end up resenting you, too.

Avoid giving unsolicited advice
This is the one I need to work on the most. As a nursing student and an "older" sister to most of the girls in my house, I feel like it's my calling to take care of people, and this sometimes means I don't keep my distance when I should. Instead of telling someone what to do, first ask, "What do you think you should do?" If she isn't sure, then it's a better time to put on the nurse's hat.

Stay Present
Don't wait until a week after something happened to finally confront someone about it, and don't recall issues that have already been settled. Bringing up the past is unfair, and neither of you will remember exactly what happened. Also, waiting to solve the problem will only make it eat at you, so you're more likely to lash out at the person instead of trying to productively solve the conflict.

Less drama, more fun with mustache band-aids

Forgive for yourself
Forgiving isn't forgetting that an injustice occurred, it's letting go of your desire to get even or watch them suffer for it. Don't say that you forgive somebody just to superficially fix the relationship. Truly give up your right to be angry so the hate doesn't poison you. Resentment is like eating rancid meat and waiting for the other person to get green in the face. At the end of the day, you're the one hugging the toilet.

Last but not least, don't forget to laugh at yourself! A little sense of humor will go a long way in making situations feel less tense. I hope you find these communication skills to be as helpful as I do for keeping drama to a minimum! Good luck! ^_^

DIY Swirly Pens

Plain pens are so boring, but fancy ones can get really pricey! This tutorial will teach you how to jazz up boring, cheap Bic pens. The shafts of these pens will hold up for years with proper care, and you can simply replace the ink cartrige as you run out of ink! You'll only need a few materials and an oven to make these funky pens, and for about $2 to $5 for a whole brick of clay, you can give dozens of pens as homemade gifts!



Materials:

• Plain Bic pens.
• They really do need to be Bic. I've tried with other cheapo pens, and the plastic melts before the clay hardens properly
• Two or three different colored polymer clay blocks. One block will make you dozens of pens.
• Needlenose pliers
• Wax paper (optional)

• I use wax paper to protect the surface I work on from the clay residue
• Scotch tape (to tape down the wax paper)
• Xacto or box cutter knife
• Cutting board (optional)

Step 4

Directions:
1. Preheat your oven to the temperature indicated on your clay package (usually 275)
2. Use your needlenose pliers to carefully remove the ink and ballpoint from the pen shaft. You should only need to twist and wiggle it a little bit. Set the ink aside, and discard the pen cap
3. pinch off a small amount of polymer clay from each color you want to use.

Step 5

4. Roll each color into a ball the size of a small marble
5. Use the pen shaft to flatten out the balls, like you would dough, until you get an irregularly shaped elipsis that's just a few millimeters thick
6. Stack the clay one on top of the other. The color on the bottom will be the outermost color on the pen.
7. carefully curl the edges into the clay, then roll it up. The tighter you get the layers rolled, the more defined the swirl will be
8. Use your hands to thin out the clay roll until it becomes about 1/2 cm thick

Step 7

9. With your Xacto knife, carefully cut off the ends of the clay roll, then slice the roll into 1-2mm thick sections
10. Starting at the top of the pen shaft, press the clay pieces into the pen.
11. As you get a small section done, lightly roll the shaft against your working surface to smooth and blend the clay seams. You may need to press the top of the pen back into a squared-off or rounded shape. Continue pressing and rolling small sections at a time.

Step 8

12. Once you get to the end of the pen, smooth the edges one more time, then cut off whatever hangs over the edges of the opening.
13. Bake for about 10 to 15 minutes. Check the clay after 10 minutes by very slightly bending the pen between your two hands once the pen has cooled. It should be firm against pressure, yet supple enough not to break or crack. If it's still too forgiving, bake it a little longer.
14. Once the pens are done baking, let them cool for about 5 minutes
15. Using your needle-nose pliers, carefully insert the ink back into the pen tube, then you're all done!

Step 9

Step 10

Step 11

Step 13: the pen should bend slightly

Step 15

And they're done!

A special thanks to Lyndsay for helping me take pics for this tutorial! It was fun getting crafty with you! =)

Little Blog of Beauty Tricks

Here are 18 simple and cheap beauty tricks to spice up your look and get gorgeous skin!

Makeup Tricks:
1. When using a liquid foundation, pour a small amount of it onto the back of your hand, then dip your foundation brush into it by pressing the brush into your hand. This will warm the foundation, making it blend in with your skin better.

NYX single eyeshadow in White Pearl

2. I always put a shimmery light shadow on the inner corner of my eyes, no matter what kind of makeup look I'm doing. It brings more light into your eyes, so they look brighter.

3. Use a stippling brush (I got one from eyeslipsface.com for $3) instead of a regular blush brush when applying a powder blush. It diffuses the color and makes it look really natural.

4. Before you start your makeup routine, put on some light lip balm. By the time you're done and ready to put on lipstick, it should have been absorbed into the skin, so your lipstick will go on smoother.

5. Find the best blush color for you by pinching your cheek while your face is clean. The color that pops up is the color that will look most natural on your skin tone.

6. The best mascara formula for you depends on what you want your eyelashes to look like. If you have short lashes and want length, look for a wet formula. If you have thinner lashes and want volume, go for a dry formula, since the wet formula will make your lashes clump together. If you're blond, brown mascara will look the most natural. If you're brunette, go with black.

7. Mix 1/3 of a packet of Crystal Light with a scoop of vaseline for homemade lip stain that lasts for hours, looks natural, and tastes amazing. I put mine in an old contact case so I can carry two shades at once.

TBD's lipstick trick

8. Got this from The Beauty Department: for long-lasting lip color, apply a layer of lipstick, blot with a tissue, dust with powder (I've found that my silica powder works best), then apply a second layer. It will last for hours without feathering and fading.

9. If you're prone to oil and shine, try setting your makeup with a loose silica powder, like Elf's Studio High Definition Powder. It keeps you shine-free for longer and kind of airbrushes your face. However, if you're using flash photography it can make your face look washed out, so opt for a powder without silica for photo ops.

10. Eyeliner can make your eyes look completely different. If you want them to look more wide set, make the line thicker on the outside half of your eye. For closer eyes, line the inner V of your eye. For elongated eyes, make a cat eye. For Rounder eyes, make the line a little thicker at the center of your eye, then taper it closer to the lash line as you go to the outer corner. For sleepy puppy dog eyes, make the liner thickest at the outer edge, and extend it out a little past the outer corner and slightly downward.

Skincare:
1. Mix baking soda with your body wash or face wash to exfoliate your skin. Baking soda is great for acne-prone skin, and is super cheap for a whole box!

2. For some extra glow, apply a little bit of olive oil or another essential or dry oil to your shoulders, elbows, knees, and along your colar bones and down the center of your chest (in a T shape) before you apply your regular lotion.

3. For a flawless sunless tan, apply a thick lotion to your elbows and knees, and around your ankles. It will act as a barrier to the drier areas of your skin, so it doesn't turn orange. Also, exfoliate (perhaps with some baking soda?) before you apply any formula of sunless tanner, so it absorbs into the newer layers of skin cells, not the layer that gets sloughed off.

4. I probably don't have to tell you this, but you should wear sunscreen whenever you're going to be out in the sun for longer than 30 minutes. It's actually good to get some unprotected sun exposure to get a good dose of vitamin D, but after that 30 minutes, the UV rays are just going to cause damage to your skin cells' DNA, which can lead to cancer and premature aging. Sunscreen may be a little pricey, but it's always cheaper than doctors' visits later.

This little guy is ~$1

5. For really dry skin, apply a layer of vaseline to dry patches before you go to bed. You can also slather vaseline on your feet and wear socks to bed, and you'll have super-soft feet when you wake up.

6. If you have oily skin and no oil absorbing sheets, use 1 layer of toilet paper or a torn off piece of a toilet seat cover (obviously one that hasn't been used) before you reach for the pressed powder. It will absorb excess oil without packing on more makeup.

7. For a brighter, healthier-looking complexion without expensive creams, eat a variety of highly pigmented fruits and vegetables. A study done in the UK showed that women who ate colorful fruits and veggies had a brighter complexion that their control group. Include leafy greens, peppers, carrots, sweet potatoes, berries, watermelon, and other bright foods in your diet to add some pep to your skin.

8. I've found that a few weeks after I started taking an omega-3 supplement, my skin looks and feels healthier, and my weak nails are stronger. Studies suggest that a fatty acid in omega-3's called EPA acts as both an antioxidant and an anti-inflammatory, fighting free radicals and damage caused by injury to tissues, like UV exposure and high blood pressure. Omega-3's aren't just good for your skin. They support brain functioning and cardiovascular health as well, and are even used as a cholesterol medication! Sometimes people can have a fishy aftertaste from the pills, but you can get an enteric-coated pill that makes this less likely.


Hope these tips help you out! Happy experimenting!

How to Be a Super Studier

I used to spend a lot more time studying for an exam, only to get the same grades I do now, if not worse. It's not that I've gotten smarter or have started taking easier classes (quite the opposite, as any advancing undergrad will tell you), I've just learned how to study efficiently.
I took a cognitive psychology class for my psych minor, and it focused several exams on how the brain learns. There's a whole field of science dedicated to how we process new information and challenges. Humans are designed, first and foremost, to survive. So, if we think about how our ancestors conquered their environment back in the day, we can use these same techniques to learn and master new knowledge. Here are some ways to apply those survival instincts to studying.

1. Test yourself
You can't just sit there and read the textbook and notes, and expect to absorb the information. The more we rehearse and retrieve information, the easier it will be to recall it in the future. Think about your phone number. The first few times you gave it out, you had to look it up, but now you've pulled that number out of your brain so many times, you don't even have to try.

Some professors will provide practice tests, and some won't. If they don't, make your own anyway, and start figuring out what you really know and what you need to work on.
Flashcards can work to your advantage, too. Make a pile of ones you answered under 1 second. Then a pile for ones you had to think about for a while, then a pile for the ones you were stumped on, and keep drilling yourself on them. Keep doing this, mixing the hard stacks with the easy pile every time you get through all of them. Those stumped and unsure piles will get smaller every time you go through them.

2. Take study breaks
If you're trying to wrap your head around a new concept, only focus for as long as you can still get something out of it. Everyone's attention span is different. Mine is up to 45 minutes before I start daydreaming. Once you start lagging, take a break. Go do something completely unrelated to the subject you're trying to study for about 10 to 15 minutes. When you come back, your attention will be refreshed, and better yet, studies show that you still process the new information even while you're focused on other things. This is the same phenomenon that leads to that "Aha!" moment you have when you sleep on something.

3. The Memory Palace

There are all sorts of little tricks to organize and memorize information. My favorite trick is using a Memory Palace. I memorized my script for being a tour guide by visualizing all the campus buildings, and placing facts onto the structures. For example, when I talk about our bell tower, I can start at the top, look at the face of the clock, and remember the purpose behind its design. Then I follow my gaze down, and every interest piece about the tower will have a different fact I've connected to it. It makes giving tours a breeze! You can do the same. As you're walking to classes, connect facts for your next exam to different parts of campus. Whenever you pass that interest piece, you can rehearse the information.
This can also work by placing different facts on your body. I saw a girl doing this for our anatomy tests my freshman year. I thought she looked ridiculous pointing to different body parts and spewing forth facts about the pancreas, but she actually did really well on the next exam. Thanks for the tip, crazy pancreas girl.

4. Make Studying a Game
I used this technique for my pharmacology class with huge success. I made flash cards for each drug class I needed to memorize, listing the drug names and other information I needed to know about each class. Then, I typed up all the individual drugs and cut them out into little slips, mixed them up, and pulled them from a pile. I spread out all my flash cards on a big table or my floor, pulled out a drug name, and had to recall what class it belongs to and all the other facts connected to it before I could place it. If I couldn't answer everything correctly, I put it in the "wrong" pile and placed them once I got through the rest. If I finally got through the entire pile without getting any wrong, I would win, and reward myself with a piece of dark chocolate. If I look at that pile of flashcards a year later, my minds still immediately jumps to the triumphant taste of chocolate.

5. Teach Someone Else
Teaching the material to someone else means that you need to know what you're doing first. My sisters and boyfriend probably get really annoyed with me sometimes, but when I teach them, it forces me to be interested in and focused on the material I'm trying to study, meaning I actually learn it. As a bonus, my roommate now knows how to determine liver size, and my boyfriend can palpate his lymph nodes!

6. Relate the Material to Yourself
If it means something to you, you'll remember it better, so figure out how you can relate the information to you, even if it means going out and acting upon it. Which leads me to....

7. Act it out
Maybe it's because I'm a very action-oriented person, but if I can put the material into action, I learn it better. The brain was created to put thoughts into movement, so if you can get up and do the thing you're thinking about, even if it means talking or writing it out, you'll remember it better. If it's hard to act out your test material, make a dance about it, and with each choreographed movement, say a fact.

8. Mimic Your Testing State
My roommate (a behavioral neuroscience major) told me that if you learn something in a certain state (i.e. drunk, tired, sad, angry, happy), you'll recall that information best when you're in that state. So, if you take an exam early in the morning, study the material early in the morning, when you'll most likely be in the same state.

9. Ask Questions
If you're confused about the material, you aren't going to learn it well. Don't be afraid to ask questions and get involved with the lecture. Taking the initiative means you'll learn better because you've made it a personal interest, and you'll get more input from the professor/TA about what's most important to know for the test

Happy studying, and good luck this fall!